There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
