idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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