So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is Oprah even human
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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