I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dicks are not precious.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
