it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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