all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
