whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
