Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
