My first STD was from a foam party
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
