Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
