arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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