the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
