I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
