chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
