Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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