she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
this will be a night to untag.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
