I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
