Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
