i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
