it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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