they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
In America we eat man semen.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
