im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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