There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
