I cockslap morals
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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