You smell like stripper and shame
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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