So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
