Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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