My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
And then he peed in my hair
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
