I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
