Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
