So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
try to milk me bitch
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
