Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
