I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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