He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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