3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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