addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
