So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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