Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
