Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
