just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
