So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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