Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
