Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sext me about skeletons
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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