i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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