Do vagina's smell?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
