I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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