nut hugger
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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