I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
