I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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