he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
